I’ve made the mistake of believing that in order to make someone feel loved by me, I must agree with them. And in order to be loved, I must please them.
It’s a BIG mistake to make.
This resulted in me sacrificing my morals to please others. Or change who I am because they weren’t comfortable with the authentic me.
I can’t blame other people for this, by the way. I was the one who made that choice.
If I’m honest, sometimes I still do. Sometimes I still fall into this lie.
But I’ve been learning there is quite a big difference between simply being a people pleaser, and loving people the way God calls us to.
God’s love is truly sacrificial and unconditional. It’s forgiving and full of grace in a way we can’t comprehend. God’s love is kind.
But God’s doesn’t waver from His truth.
Even if that truth makes us uncomfortable.
1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us “love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth”.
This hit me hard.
Because when I change myself in ways that do not align with God’s will for me just to please other people…
I’m actually not loving people.
Because I’m no longer living in God’s truth.
We find ourselves pleasing people to either get love or make them feel loved, but there’s a chance we aren’t accomplishing either.
We are actually moving away from love in the Biblical sense.
Love comes from God, God is love. God is also truth.
We can’t separate love and truth.
It’s a hard reality, but loving people doesn’t always mean going along with their agenda or what makes them happy.
Sometimes loving people is reminding them of the love and truth of their Father.
Loving people also means that we follow God, not others.. whether they agree or not.
By being obedient to the Lord, we are able to be better examples of love. We are also able to give it to others in its truest form.
Love rejoices with the truth.
People pleasing steals that.
Sometimes loving people isn’t easy, and there is no way we‘ll always do it perfectly.
But what an honor it is to get to be an example of God’s love.
The love that changes us and pulls us out of darkness. The love that gives hope, and helps set our paths straight. The love that leads to eternal life.
They might not like how you are, friends.
You might not be able to please them, and you certainly won’t be able to please everyone.
But love them anyway.
Because that’s what pleases God.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog
I loved this. Thank you for your powerful insight.