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Writer's pictureKelli Bachara

I don’t Mother by the Books... and That’s Ok.


I’m simply not the mom who does things by the books.


I’m definitely not against the books, but I just don’t follow them. I think it’s great other people do and that it works for them!


When I first saw this picture, it made me smile. Not because it’s a particularly pretty picture, but because it captures the beautiful mess I live in.


I also wanted to hide this picture so no one saw it.


Sleeping with my kids has been something I’ve learned to hide because it’s not what I’m supposed to do.


So I decided to do the opposite and post it, because I know there is a mom out there feeling like a failure because her kids aren’t doing what they are “supposed” to do. Sleeping wise or something else.


And I want you to hear me loud and clear fellow mama..


You aren’t doing it wrong.


God made each child different and He picked different parents to be with those kids.


You aren’t doing it wrong, just because you do some things differently.


It’s okay not to do the status quo if it’s not what works best for your family.

Your kids may not fit into status quo.


I think it’s more important that you listen to your mama-gut.


Because you don’t want to look back someday and think, “I wish I would have listened to my instincts. I wish I didn’t parent based off of other people’s opinions.


No matter how you raise those kids, the same thing is going to happen to every single one of them...


They are going to grow up.


They are going to turn into their own independent person.


Our job? It’s to love them the best we can.


That love is going to look different for everyone.


And that’s okay. It’s totally okay.


Mama, be true to what your heart is telling you. Ask God for guidance. Ask the opinion of those you trust, but also know... the choice is yours.


And if you choose to do things differently, know that it doesn’t mean you are doing them wrong.


~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

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leannerredlinger
leannerredlinger
Apr 30, 2020

Thank you. I really needed to hear and feel this grace. I, too, would hid the fact I let our kids sleep with us whenever they wanted. Even into their preteens. I also hid the fact I signed the consent for to let my daughter get her nose septum pierced. I know, when my extended family see what I allowed i will face judgements. But, I'm glad I could share in that moment with my daughter at the tattoo parlor. I'm her mother. And, that's a sweet thing.

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